Dog Log 8th March

I'm using this blog to log our activities with the dog so that when we meet with our dog trainer we can show what activities and problems we've had. Ben - no contact before work. Home at 18:00. Ignored dog on way in. She remained calm. Opened back door a crack. Jack shoved her nose into crack. I said "back back" and she stepped back and sat quietly. I said 'goood' and treated. Games: 1) 5 minutes of throw ball. Standing still and calling Jack. She runs around for a couple of excited laps then approaches. I hold out treat with left hand and right hand out directly below, asking for the ball. After two 'oops' she got the idea and spat the ball into my right hand and the same time as taking the treat from my left. After 5 minutes concentration lost. 2) 2 mins of chasing red ball whilst i try and get it off her, soccer tackle style. 3) 3 minutes of tug-of-war with tug toy. Twice I dropped it. First time she came when called and after a 'give' she exchanged toy for treat. On second drop she jumped at me with both front paws in my belly when i picked it up. Toy went away immediately and i went inside. Danielle - Breakfast 8am (before kids to school). Back back at the door and 'sit' before going out. Sausage left overs for breakfast. Shake hands, sit, down, jump etc for her breakfast. 11:30 half hour of training with me and Nanna. Came inside, practised 'on the mat', 'sit', 'shake', come when called. When time to go outside took out a chicken neck. Wouldn't go out. Hasd to go right out and call and wave chicken. she came out, took the chicken and got back inside before i could stop her. Then had to man-handle her out - we were tired and needed lunch and had had enough.

BATS and BONDING

Alex and I enjoyed a very special evening a few days ago. There was a very special connection made that tends to only happen in quiet moments where you both enjoy an experience in a personal way but with another present. To explain - every night the flying foxes leave their homes and fly over our house towards fruit trees in the south for their nightly feed. it is a spectacular sight to see with a colony of 1000's flying over... kinda reminiscent of the wizard of oz. In was a cold night and Alex sat wrapped in a blanket, waiting anxiously for the first tell-tale leathery flapping to indicate the start of the colony's evening migration. I sat opposite Alex on our balcony with bourbon in hand enjoying the quiet of the twilight. Alex broke the comfortable silence by asking, "Dad, are these bats, fruit bats?". To which I replied, "yes mate, they are fruit bats or flying foxes, they both eat fruit". He sat quietly and reflected on this and I could see him forming another question so I waited. "Dad?" "Yes, Alex" "Do gum trees have fruit?" "no mate, that have gum nuts" "oh" "why do you ask Alex?" "well i saw a fruit bat land in a gum tree once" "OK, well it might have needed a rest" "yeah, probably" I was really enjoying this little exchange - it felt like one of those dad to son exchanges you see in the movies whilst they are fishing. We scoured the sky with our eyes for a few minutes, looking for our entertaining friends and then talked about how some of the stars we could see might be satellites. Then Alex faced me and looked suddenly serious like there was something important he needed to get off his chest. He took a breath and said, "DAD?" "Yes, Alex" "We see fruit bats all the time" "yes" "So there are Meat bats too, right?" Well I sprayed bourbon off the balcony and nearly fell off my chair! That was the funniest thing I had heard in ages! Once I had calmed down I explained that vampire bats (or meat-bats as Alex had called them) have been known to drink the blood of cows and that they are very small. The moment had been lost and Alex began to glare at me for disturbing his serenity. I sent him inside to have a shower whilst still chuckling about meat bats. beware the meat bats!!!!!!!

You know, when I was the voice of reason, saying that keeping a small (for now) puppy when we have two cats that we complain about constantly, is a very bad idea, everyone thought i was a bit mean. "Aaww look at him!, I mean her!", they would say! or "Isn't he, I mean her cute?" I explained again and again it was not a free dog, it would need desexing(once we agreed what sort of bits it had), microchipping, it would need a kennel etc etc. Dogs need a lot of attention and plenty of exercise!!!!! Yeah, yeah, yeah they all said! It'll be ok! Well we are some weeks, 4567 poos, 25 dog toys, one kennel, 3 tonnes of dog food, a shredded lounge, 5 carpet stains, 2 doc mucas smeared glass doors, 10 swimming lessons, 10 surfing rides and a pair of chewed up goggles later and Jack the gender bending dog (GBD) had started to become an extremely naughty dog. I worked out that because of all the attention the dog was starting to feel like it was the boss. Well I wasn't going to have any of that nonsense! There's only one boss around here and thats Danielle! The kids have been told to treat the dog like you would a street mime. You secretly want to play but you don't want it to see you watching or it will single you out and become unbearable. Whenever we walk outside the dog is ignored until it sits. Jack the GBD then gets a pat and sometimes a biscuit. He I mean she has done very well so far and will sit on command and has stopped being so nippy and jumping up. I also brought home some Pallets (not CHEP ones - they were rubbish)and nailed them together to make a simple gate. We can lock Jack GBD away when we have scared kids over. After all we don't scared kids to become scarred kids. Anyway, there have been moments went they have all been a hair away from getting rid of the dog (including Danielle the goddess), but the committment has been made Jack GBD is now part of the family for better or worse and adds another dimension to this crazy old menagerie ! Just quietly I reckon the dog is great!

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I know a number of you already read my Blogs, others might also if they thought I'd get off my butt regularly enough to make it worth their while having a look. So I added another gadget to the right side bar. It allows you to be a follower of this blog. Please click on the link to follow.

Christmas

Christmas has come and gone again and once more I resemble Santa a lot more after Christmas than I did before Christmas. On Christmas Eve we put out carrots for the reindeer and scotch and cookies for Santa (mmmmmm cookies). The small stockings were hung up for lollies and chocs and the large stockings were under the tree waiting for Santa to "fill 'er up". The kids were told we were not getting up any earlier than 6:30 by our clock. At 6:15 Alex walked into our room to read the clock 'without waking us'. He was making every effort to be inconspicuous and allow us some sleep. He was about as successful as a Marching band would have been, given the same task, and his foot steps sounded like he had a block of flats attached to each foot. So up we get and have that magical morning that only comes once a year, with the kids excited about the presents and the animals excited about all the packaging. We were on a tight schedule and needed to be out of the house by 9:20. First stop was the Macri's to drop off a present each for their dogs. Next Dan's parents' to drop her and the kids off. Next was my mum's house to drop off Capt'n Jack and back to Dan's parents' by 11:15 for more present opening and a big christmas lunch. By 3pm we were packing up again now with heaps of presents stuffing the boot of the Two-Cans (Hyundai Tucson). Of to my Mum's to catch up with more family, open more presents and catch up with Captain jack. Dinner was at 8pm and went through to 11pm and also involved a call from my Dad in Thailand to wish all a Merry Christmas. Finally after 12am we retired to bed at mum's place and didn't get home till midday on Boxing day. Since then it has been a blur of kids' friends in the pool, left over ham, endless boxes of chocolates and regular naps and watching the Boxing day test match. We have wound down and now comes the struggle to ramp up to get back to work tomorrow, shake off the christmas gut and start getting runs on the board in the New Year. We won't be doing anything for NYE but we are having a few friends over on new years day and that will wrap up the party season for me. It's been great but it also knocks you around a bit and I always look forward to getting back into a rhythm in the new year. Merry Christmas everyone and a very Happy and safe New Year.

TIME OUT!

OK enough is enough! I'm happy to let the women-folk gossip and play and generally muck up and sort out their own problems but when it starts to disrupt the frequency and quality of my dinner it's time for me to step in. (yes that was supposed to be patronising) There is an old chinese saying that goes; "a wise man once lived alone on a hill but for a small goat and a crow that would visit each morning. Each day the crow would ask the man how long he would live and wise man would answer, "long enough". 42 years passed until one day the goat ran away but the crow still came and asked , "how long will you live"?. The answer then came from the wise old man, "ah fuck off ya stupid crow can't you see i'm looking for my friggin goat"? - I can't remember the point i was trying to make but it's a good saying (or story). ....anyway where was I ? - oh yes, thats right - stepping in! Look, enough whining and crying and worrying and wringing of hands. If anyone is having a worse day than Narelle on a school day you can complain but otherwise cheer the f#$K up! you are all friends - sort it out! If everyone is not happy happy joy joy friends again by the weekend I'm going to get involved and tell it like it is. And embarrass everyone by showing how simple having a conversation is. Oh, and have a nice day!

What am I ? Chopped liver?

OK so the usual morning hilarity and capers happened this morning with the kids getting ready for school. Emma doing what she can to please and Alex doing his utmost to be a pain in the *eeee-haw*. When I'm going to work late like this morning I see it all unfold in front of me like a sitcom. I have to resist the urge to pull up a chair, munch on popcorn and standby with finger hovering over the canned laughter button (most appropriately used in response to danielle's threats of dismemberment if Alex doesn't take his undies of his head stop waving his naked butt around in the stairwell). The problem with Team Reid and their wacky adventures in the morning is that it takes its toll on Danielle's brain. It is not socially acceptable to take it out on the kids and so the closest target is me. Case in point one - does anyone else buy petrol by leaving the kids in the car, husband pumping the petrol and walk off with the keys? Any guesses what happens when a child winds down a window to ask Dad a question? Any further guess what it is like to have everyone in a petrol station stare at you whilst you run (or shamble, stumble, lurch with bad back) away from a car with two wide eyed kids in it with an alarm blaring? Of course I was getting the keys from Dan but the other customers didn't know that and thought I was trying to make a run for it after getting caught scout-leader style and gave me the worst Mr bubbles stare you've ever seen! This actually happened a couple of weeks ago. What brought it to mind this morning is the fact that Dan armed the house alarm before taking Team Reid to school. Believe me there nothing more bracing than walking downstairs naked.... looking for some undies from the wash basket only to set off the alarm (our alarm is designed to disorientate any would be bad guy). Must write to the manufacturer and compliment them on their enginerring prowess - it worked a treat. *takes deep breath* OK - I get downstairs - the alarm goes off, I shamble, stumble, lurch with bad back toward the keypad, the freaked out cat starts leaping at me like I'm a shower door(SEE DAN'S BLOG), Zeuss is sitting under a table shaking, every time I pass something hard my foot seems drawn to it so I stub my toe in the hall wall, then the dining room table, and to even things up Angel throws herself at me to tip my balance just enough to help me stub the opposite toe on my last part of my journey to the keypad. With the alarm safely turned off, *neighbours can stop worrying now - yeah right!* I sit down to perform triage on my injuries. Nothing broken, heart pounding, back pounding, head pounding......someone's gonna getta pounding! I check the cats.... Angel is giving me a look like , "can we do it again?" and as i think about wringing her furry little neck Zeuss whacks her in the back of the head! I'm with Zeuss on that one!

WESTERN SYDNEY? - a rant.

You know why there is so much crime in western Sydney? Well I'll give you a little hint: On the left of the blue line is the area reported as western Sydney, as in, "..a man was stabbed in Sydney's west today......". You know if someone gets stabbed in Blacktown people ask me "isn't that near you - you're out west aren't you? I mean thats like saying Sutherland is near Ryde. Last year I even heard a radio report that an attack in Kurnell had happened in Sydney's south west. Love to see what that journo thought was east? Why can't the reporters just say the suburb??!! Then we all know exactly what they are talking about. Parramatta is the geographical centre of Sydney and I reckon they should refer to part of Sydney in terms of where it lies in relation to parramatta. Sydney's east is everything east of Parra. Too bloody easy!

I am excited that the NFL season is beginning again and I get to see the San Diego Chargers in action again. As usual they may have a slow start this year with line backer Shawne (lights out) Merriman injured. Merriman has been a key in the SD defense for the past two seasons with a high number of sacks in both seasons. The Bolts are again looking like dead set certs for the AFC West conference championship. I'm also stoked that TEN HD has made the brave move of programming NFL games this year, albeit the games will probably be the ones discarded (John West style) by Foxtel. This year our tipping contest is joined by my brother Paul who has developed an interest in the game. Pal will be backing the Jacksonville Jags, a team that some thought last year would be earning a superbowl trophy to their cabinet. Will be interesting to see how that translates this year.

Go the BOLTS !

My Back.

Some time ago as most of you would know i hurt my back. It was when i came off a motorbike after an emergency turn (to miss a lady with a pram) sent me hurtling into the path....of..a semi trailer......which.......ahh.

You're not buying this are you?

OK I hurt my back through lifestyle choices. I spend a lot of time seated in a car on my way to and from work. I arrive at work and promptly sit down in a swivel chair. After a day at work i will often pick up after the kids or tidy up their cyclone path. I then sit down, exhausted for dinner at around 8:30 or 9:00 for dinner and them watch some tv. My physio tells me that this is like constantly squeezing the disc backwards.

The thing is I am still struggling with it. I still find that fairly normal loads like carrying a case of beer far too dangerous. Gardening is pretty much out of the question and trying to direct a fully laden shopping trolley is my own personal kind of hell. I tried it again yesterday and I looked like a guy trying to navigate a pommel horse without ever letting my feet leave the ground....pathetic.

Anyway let this be a warning to all. Keep in shape and look after your back ! I only had trouble with it once! - that was enough. I will probably have to manage it for the rest of my life.

Speaking of which - Gym again tomorrow morning at 07:30! -(it does help)

I have discovered Flickr for sharing my photos (useful for you dad as you travel around the world!) www.flickr.com/photos/30132874@N08/

Great spot down south

For our ten year anniversary Dan and I went on a holiday...... together...... without kids....... I know you are scrunching up your face and looking around trying to figure out if I'm pulling your leg right ? It was the first time since the honeymoon that we had a proper holiday.

The name of the place was "The Bower" http://www.thebower.com.au/

It was fantastic ! The cabins are simple modern and very green in design. they have luxurious baths and a great fireplace. I'd recommend the place to anyone looking for a quiet, relaxing getaway with not much to do.

I have an awful memory. Not in the sense of a specific bad experience but an inabilty to retain anything other than urgent or important information.

For years my wife has been dubbed my mobile external memory and she has done an admirable job of storing bits and pieces of info to be retrieved with a simple request from me and a roll of the eyes from her.

Unfortunately she's full.

Whilst the prospect of getting a newer model had crossed my mind, the parts of my mind being crossed, quickly clubbed the idea to death and hid it's body. From now on my mind dump of useless information, rants and annoying observations will be directed to this blog.

i hope you enjoy it.